BY DAVE BARRY

This is the time of year when we think back to the very first Christmas, when the three Wise Men -- Gaspar, Balthasar and Herb -- went to see the baby Jesus, and, according to the Book of Matthew, ``presented unto Him gifts: gold, frankincense and myrrh.''

These are simple words, but if we analyze them carefully, we discover an important, yet often-overlooked, theological fact: There is no mention of wrapping paper. If there had been wrapping paper, Matthew would have said so: ``And lo, the gifts WERE inside 600 square cubits of paper.

``And the paper WAS festooned with pictures of Frosty the Snowman.

``And Joseph WAS going to throweth it away, but Mary saideth unto him, she saideth, `Holdeth it! That is nice paper! Saveth it for next year!'

``And Joseph DID rolleth his eyeballs.

``And the baby Jesus WAS more interested in the paper than, for example, the frankincense.''

But these words do not appear in the Bible, which means that the very first Christmas gifts were NOT wrapped. This is because the people giving those gifts had two important characteristics:

1. They were wise.

2. They were men.

Men are not big gift wrappers. Men do not understand the point of putting paper on a gift just so somebody else can tear it off. This is not just my opinion; this is a scientific fact based on a statistical survey of two guys I know. One is my son, Rob, who said the only time he ever wraps a gift is, quote, ''if it's such a poor gift that I don't want to be there when the person opens it.'' The other is my friend Gene Weingarten, who told me he does wrap gifts, but as a matter of principle never takes more than 15 seconds per gift.

''No one ever had to wonder which presents Daddy wrapped at Christmas,'' Gene said. ``They were the ones that looked like enormous spitballs.''

I also wrap gifts, but because of some defect in my motor skills, I can never COMPLETELY wrap them. I can take a gift the size of a deck of cards and put it in the exact centre of a piece of wrapping paper the size of a regulation volleyball court, but when I am done folding and taping, you can still see a sector of the gift peeking out. (Sometimes I camouflage this sector with a marking pen.) If I had been an ancient Egyptian in the field of mummies, the lower half of the Pharaoh's body would be covered only by Scotch tape.

On the other hand, if you give my wife a 12-inch square of wrapping paper, she can wrap a C-130 cargo plane. My wife, like many women, actually LIKES wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness. If it were possible, my wife would wrap each individual volt.

My point is that gift-wrapping is one of those skills -- like having babies -- that come more naturally to women than to men. That is why today I am presenting:

GIFT-WRAPPING TIPS FOR MEN

-- Whenever possible, buy gifts that are already wrapped. If, when the recipient opens the gift, neither of you recognizes it, you can claim that it's myrrh.

-- The editors of Woman's Day magazine recently ran an item on how to make your own wrapping paper by printing a design on it with an apple sliced in half horizontally and dipped in a mixture of food colouring and liquid starch. They must be smoking crack.

-- If you're giving a hard-to-wrap gift, skip the wrapping paper! Just put it inside a bag and stick one of those little adhesive bows on it. This creates a festive visual effect that is sure to delight the lucky recipient on Christmas morning:

YOUR WIFE: Why is there a Hefty trash bag under the tree?

YOU: It's a gift! See? It has a bow!

YOUR WIFE (peering into the trash bag): It's a leaf blower.

YOU: Gas-powered! Five horsepower!

YOUR WIFE: I want a divorce.

YOU: I also got you some myrrh.

In conclusion, remember that the important thing is not what you give, or how you wrap it. The important thing, during this very special time of year, is that you save the receipt.

(This classic Dave Barry column was originally published Dec. 9, 2001.)

  WHEN  you have reached the upper echelons of the rich list your physical address becomes more than simply a place to lay your head at night; it becomes an important embodiment of your status as a heavyweight player.

For the filthy rich, having a number of carefully chosen investments with all the right postal codes is part and parcel of making an elitist statement.

Competition for prime real estate is fierce and may come from all corners of the globe, which often means having a team of scouts scouring different countries for opportunities. “Whether local or foreign, it is common for buyers to get relocation specialists to do the dirty work for them.

The client engages agents, experts assess potential properties, and then the client looks through their short lists,” said property expert Lew Geffen. Geffen said top-end property sales had slowed slightly, but were still moving. “We sold four properties in Johannesburg over the last month in the R20-million to R30-million range. The buyers tend to be around us all the time, names we know, but it’s quite a dynamic process, with new moguls arriving on the scene regularly.”

According to Geffen, Sandhurst and Westcliff are Johannesburg’s two most desirable suburbs, with fairly different client profiles. “Westcliff represents mostly old money, while Sandhurst is a mix of old and new money. Top-end buyers tend to be CEOs of listed companies, business people in general and entrepreneurs. Such people are very astute. They’re looking for position and a good setting, sophistication, contemporary architecture, gardens and international flavour.”

Most agents list Hyde Park, Houghton and Morningside as contender suburbs in Johannesburg. In Cape Town, Geffen said anywhere on the Atlantic seaboard qualifies as upmarket, while in Durban, Umhlanga and La Lucia were the equivalents. “The top-end buyers tend to stick to the traditionally upmarket suburbs, but breakout areas include golf estates like Fancourt, Arabella and Steenberg,” he said.

“Second, third and further homes tend to be in fairly varied settings, but we had one client who bought a R150-million house in Johannesburg and then had replicas built in Cape Town and Durban, on top of an international home. The replicas were even furnished identically,” said Geffen.

Basil Moraitis, Atlantic seaboard manager for Pam Golding, said Clifton remains the ultimate Cape Town address, along with other Atlantic seaboard spots such as Llandudno, Mouille Point, the slopes of Lions Head, wind protected Glen Beach in Camps Bay as well as bungalows on Bakoven beach and penthouses at the V&A Waterfront. “There are also traditional top-end enclaves at Bantry Bay and Fresnaye. In Cape Town, old and new money tend to be fairly well mixed and distributed.

Property in Cape Town is all about position — a unique location that cannot be replicated, as well as the best value for money in that area.” Moraitis said Pam Golding had sold apartments for up to R38.25-million in Bantry Bay, beach houses at R31.5-million in Clifton and others ranging from R11-million to R60-million. “There are some international buyers, but this percentage has not increased over the last two years and the majority of buyers are local — captains of industry and entrepreneurs. They range in age from young to old — there’s quite a healthy cross section.”

Foreigners tend to stick to properties right on the coast as opposed to inland, said Moraitis. “They buy in Cape Town with that express purpose, and tend to make requests for fully furnished homes so that they can walk into the local lifestyle.

“South African buyers are more willing to adjust and adapt properties and houses if the position is good.” Tara Whiting, Signature Collection agent for Pam Golding, said Bishopscourt is still the ultimate old money suburb with the highest concentration of embassies and chic families.“It is highly sought after for Johannesburg families moving to Cape Town. Constantia also remains popular because of the vineyards and equine sports. The penthouses at Sol Kerzner’s One&Only hotel will be the ultimate desirable residence at the waterfront.”

Ian Slott, MD of the Atlantic seaboard for Seeff Properties, said Seeff recently sold one of the three penthouses now being built on top of the hotel. “It went for over R110-million. We also recently fetched the highest price ever in Camps Bay — a home for R21-million. Shortly afterwards, we sold the most expensive plot in Clifton — R16.5-million.”

Agents agree that there is no typical profile for top-end buyers, save for their request for properties with the requisite privacy. “Top-end buyers look for privacy, security, quality and extra staff quarters that are well appointed,” Whiting said. “Increasingly, there is a growing niche of top-end buyers who are becoming environmentally conscious and want to make sure that their carbon footprint is minimized. Also, you do not get to be wealthy without working and a spacious home office is important.

Proximity to a private airfield or their own airstrip might also be taken into account.” Kevin Engelsman, Plettenberg Bay licensee for Seeff Properties, said: “Often the older beachfront homes will be bought and completely revamped or knocked down and new mansions built.”

Some buyers have different requests. “Not strange or unusual, but we are seeing more cultural requirements from our Middle- Eastern buyers, such as prayer rooms,” said Slott. “We had a sheikh request that all the paintings and liquor be removed from a house,” said Geffen.

As an aside, Geffen noted that international art collections can sometimes be worth even more than the houses. “You will find Johannesburg residents with collections from international masters like Picasso and Miro that are worth fortunes.”According to Engelsman, Plett is a hot spot for second and third homes. “The ultimate address on the Garden Route is undoubtedly the old money area of millionaires’ row on Beach Head Drive. The up and- coming new money indicators are the secure estates of Whale Rock, Schoongezicht and Brackenridge.”Slott said: “At the top-end, especially with the lock-up-and-go sector, we see an interesting phenomenon — purchasers have no real specific sense of how long per year they will be staying there. They move around the globe where they have just as appealing homes.

The higher you get, the less it has to do with price and more about getting what they really want.”Once top-end buyers have taken care of their interests in South Africa’s hottest suburbs, further homes were acquired for holiday times. “South African buyers concentrate on the Indian Ocean islands like Mauritius and the Seychelles, with Mozambique also becoming an up market destination , ” said Whiting.

Note from the blogger for anyone who still has deep pockets: 'You are most welcome to make an offer on House Clifton, situated on the seafront  in Clifton and while mentioning this, there is also a share holding in Fancourt that could be open for discussion!'

November 30 2008 - www.businesstimes.co.za

For those who love intrigue and a riveting read: The Genesis Code by John Case

Mysterious assassinations. Cutting-edge medical technology. A secret organization with an unholy agenda. John Case has combined these intriguing elements into an explosive novel that will keep you up all night.
Joe Lassiter awakens to the ring of the phone in the dead of the night. His sister Kathy and her young son Brandon have died in a blaze in their expensive home near Washington, D.C. Rushing to the scene, Lassiter learns the deaths were no accident: his sister and nephew were brutally murdered in their beds before the fire was set. The police are baffled. The man who set the fire clings to life in the burn ward, unable to answer any questions.
Lassiter heads a thriving high-tech investigative agency in the nation’s capital. If there’s a paper trail, he can follow it. A computer encryption, he can crack it. An identity to reveal, he will track it down. He throws all his energy into the investigation of Kathy and Brandon’s murders. He begins with the man languishing in the burn ward, a man who exploded, on fire, through Kathy Lassiter’s front bay window. But as Lassiter traces that man’s identity, the mystery only deepens. His name is Franco Grimaldi and he’s a known hit-man, with disturbing connections to Italian military intelligence and to the fanatical Catholic order Umbra Domini. The question is: Why would he even be in the same orbit with Kathy Lassiter---a researcher for NPR, a Sunday school teacher, a single mother with no known enemies? And then the man with the answers to Lassiter’s questions escapes from the hospital, killing a policeman in the process.
Lassiter’s leads take him on a dangerous international chase from London to Rome to Naples to Umbria to Switzerland to Maine. The more he unearths, the larger the web of conspiracy grows, yet every thread he pulls seems to tighten the knot of deception.
The Genesis Code is the story of a secret, a secret so powerful that if it becomes known, it will alter the course of civilization. When Joe Lassiter finally learns the truth, it will shock him --- and the reader --- to his very marrow. 

Since prehistoric times, animals have acted as companions to humans on their journey toward enlightenment.
Animals as disparate in character as house pets, birds, sea creatures, and insects have been our mentors, teachers, and guides. There is much we can learn from animals, as they offer us the unique opportunity to transcend the human perspective. Unlike human teachers, animals can only impart their wisdom by example, and we learn from them by observation. An animal teacher can be a beloved pet or an animal in the wild. You may even find yourself noticing the animals in your backyard. Even robins and bumblebees have lessons to share with you.
Animals teach us in a variety of ways about behaviour, habit, and instinct. House pets embody an unconditional love that remains unchanged in the face of our shape, size, age, race, or gender. They care little for the differences between us and them and simply enjoy loving and being loved. Our pets encourage us to let our guards down, have fun, and take advantage of every opportunity to enjoy life. You can also learn lessons from the animals you encounter in the wild if you take the time to observe their habits. Cold-blooded animals show us adaptability and sensitivity to one’s environment. Mammals serve as examples of nurturing and playfulness. Animals that live in oceans, lakes, and rivers demonstrate the value of movement and grace. It is even possible to learn from insects that live in highly structured communities that everyone plays a vital role.
Animals teach us about life, death, survival, sacrifice, and responsibility. If you find yourself drawn to a particular animal, ask yourself which of its traits you find most intriguing and think about how you might mimic those traits. Think of what you might learn from observing the little bird on your windowsill or the mosquito buzzing around a picnic table. Animals express themselves with abandon, freedom, and integrity. It’s natural to be drawn to the wisdom offered by our animal teachers, and in doing so, discover what is natural and true within you.

Source: DailyOm

We live in an age of quantity. The media shapes us with the notion that larger, more and faster, go hand in hand with better. We are told that we need to find more time, more possessions, and more love to be truly happy.

A smaller quantity of anything that is high in quality will almost always be more satisfying. A single piece of our favourite chocolate or a thin spread of freshly made preserves can satisfy us more than a full bucket of a product that we aren’t very fond of. Similarly, one fulfilling experience can eclipse many empty moments strung together. It is not the quantity of time that matters, but the quality that you experience during each moment. Every minute is an opportunity to love yourself and others, develop confidence and self-respect, and exhibit courage.

Ultimately, quality can make life sweeter. When you focus on quality, all your life experiences can be meaningful. A modest portion of good, healthy food can nourish and satisfy you on multiple levels and, when organically grown, nourish the earth as well. Likewise, a few hours of deep, restful slumber will leave you feeling more refreshed than a night’s worth of frequently interrupted sleep. A few minutes spent with a loved one catching up on the important details about family, work, or community can carry more meaning than two hours spent watching television together.

Often, in the pursuit of quantity we cheat ourselves of quality. Then again, quantity also plays a significant role in our lives. Certain elements, such as hugs, kisses, abundance, and love, are best had in copious amounts that are high in quality. But faced with the choice between a single, heartfelt grin and a lifetime of empty smiles, most would, no doubt, choose the former. Ultimately, it is not how much you live or have or do but what you make of each moment that counts.

Buying nothing over the silly season?

Consider this: there is an entire organisation devoted to "Buy Nothing Christmas" - an initiative started by Canadian Mennonites to de-commercialise the tizzy season and re-design a time that is richer in meaning. The co-founder of the movement, who once worked for Ad-busters magazine, expanded the Ad-busters "Buy Nothing Day" campaign into radical simplicity for the whole season.

Buy Nothing Christmas is an ongoing protest and reaction to the commercialisation of the season we consider silly, not least because it is, well, rather silly to rush out and spend more than we can afford on gifts and food we do not need, to please people who, at the end of the day, would rather we invested quality time with them than any number of gifts.
And please, it is not a campaign against giving things at Christmas – giving gifts is an important part of Christmas – rather it is the awareness that gift-giving has been totally exploited by consumer capitalism, and a market that preys upon our need for wasteful gadgets and soon-obsolete fashions.
So this Christmas, instead of any number of glitzy presents with the appropriate price tag, give a meaningful gift – photos, a collection of family recipes, a shared trip to see a film, a subscription to a magazine. And consider buying locally-produced, fairly-traded products without plastic packaging. Challenge our over-consumptive lifestyle, and enjoy this Christmas with those you love.

"One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star." -Nietzsche

We are creatures of habit, of patterns. While initially the habits may have served us, they may now be limiting our ability to experience more of life.

What aspect of your life has become routine? How might you bring new life to it? Do some outrageous dreaming! Then do something completely different today.

"When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world." - George Washington Carver